Is idealism inversely proportional to age? When I was a kid, I had this great belief that I was meant for greater things. I was destined for greatness. Although, I never quite put my finger on it, as to how will I achieve it, but the belief was too strong to be taken lightly. Throughout school and college, I tried living up to this image of myself. Now, it seems that I have let myself down in some way. I don't see my destiny being realised anytime foreseeable and I feel as I have broken a promise to myself.
Probably it was just a notion, but was too strong and engaging to be discounted as such. Looking back on it, it feels as if I started giving up on myself and became too tolerant of my shortcomings. As I grew up, everything seemed acceptable and a passive attitude capable of being discounted. Don't know if everybody goes through this, but its extremely painful to sit through the deconstruction of your idea of your own self...and I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that we become very good with excuses. Believable excuses. Excuses based on the premise that the ideal world does not exist and hence it is okay if you cant aspire to it.
*too sleepy to think clearly and to avoid rambling, must pick up the thread later. Good night!
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